Ups and Downs

THE UPS --First, I have to brag (which will probably jinx everything). Krystian is half potty trained. I kept him home Thursday to have his and Aydyn's pictures taken. We tried to go potty first thing in the morning, and he wanted to put on big boy underwear. I didn't want to deny him that right so I let him. There have been a few accidents, but for the most part, he has been awesome. Poo-pooing on the potty is a different story, but I hear that is always most difficult. My mother-in-law let him pee standing up on Friday, and he LOVED it. We have been doing that since.

Today was another big step. We were standing in line in Wal-mart to get Aydyn some formula when Krsytian looked at me and said, "Mama, I have to potty." I almost forgot to tell Jake anything because I was trying to run so fast. (Every other time before this, Krystian has said these words AFTER he peed a little in his pants.) We RAN to the women's restroom. Luckily, we were at the self-checkout and it was right there. My big boy went potty :) and he hadn't gone in his pants yet either. It was the first time that he had told me that he had to go without me prompting him.

THE DOWNS -- I am so frustrated and tired. I still feel very unappreciated. I don't know if Jake is just ignoring me when I say this or if he doesn't understand. I mean, I have actually said the words "I feel unappreciated" and "I am frustrated," but still no offer to keep the kids one night. No offer for a date night. Now, I can't sleep at night. I am so tired and frustrated about being frustrated and unappreciated that I can't sleep. I can't even watch music videos or listen to music about how much men love/adore/appreciate their women because I am jealous. I know that is stupid, but Jake used to appreciate me that way before we got engaged (over 8 years ago). My happiness for Krystian is overshadowed by the fact that I feel like my husband doesn't love me any more. I am just good for satisfying his needs and raising his boys.

I am so proud of Krsytian. He is growing up so much. Now, when I ask if he's ready to go to bed, Krystian says, "Yep," and calmly walks to his room. The ups definitely outnumber the downs, but the downs still hurt. :/